How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
