so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
