so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
