Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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