sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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