Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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