he told me I talked like a deaf person
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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