If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
