i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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