I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
