just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
