i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
