You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
