Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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