it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
