Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
