living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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