You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
