cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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