why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
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...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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