Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
