I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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