moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
