theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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