They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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