You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
