Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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