yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
