So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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