last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
