yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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