I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
