they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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