She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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