we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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