is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
