i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
