sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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