I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
