I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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