Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
