When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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