ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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