Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
