i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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