this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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