Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
