Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
