ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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