I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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