so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
